Life

Life is....

"Leaving the house in the morning, dressed in clothes that you bought on credit card for work, driving through the traffic in a car that you are still paying for, putting in fuel that you cannot afford, in order to get to the job that you hate but need so badly so that you can pay for the clothes, car, fuel and the house that you leave empty the whole day, in order to live in it."

കഥ പറയുമ്പോള്‍

കാലമല്ല ബന്ധത്തിന്റെ അളവുകോല്‍
സൌഹൃദത്തിന്റെ ആഴമാണ് ....

St. Valentine's Story

St. Valentine's Story

Let me introduce myself. My name is Valentine. I lived in Rome during the third century. That was long, long ago! At that time, Rome was ruled by an emperor named Claudius. I didn't like Emperor Claudius, and I wasn't the only one! A lot of people shared my feelings.

Claudius wanted to have a big army. He expected men to volunteer to join. Many men just did not want to fight in wars. They did not want to leave their wives and families. As you might have guessed, not many men signed up. This made Claudius furious. So what happened? He had a crazy idea. He thought that if men were not married, they would not mind joining the army. So Claudius decided not to allow any more marriages. Young people thought his new law was cruel. I thought it was preposterous! I certainly wasn't going to support that law!

Did I mention that I was a priest? One of my favorite activities was to marry couples. Even after Emperor Claudius passed his law, I kept on performing marriage ceremonies -- secretly, of course. It was really quite exciting. Imagine a small candlelit room with only the bride and groom and myself. We would whisper the words of the ceremony, listening all the while for the steps of soldiers.

One night, we did hear footsteps. It was scary! Thank goodness the couple I was marrying escaped in time. I was caught. (Not quite as light on my feet as I used to be, I guess.) I was thrown in jail and told that my punishment was death.

I tried to stay cheerful. And do you know what? Wonderful things happened. Many young people came to the jail to visit me. They threw flowers and notes up to my window. They wanted me to know that they, too, believed in love.

One of these young people was the daughter of the prison guard. Her father allowed her to visit me in the cell. Sometimes we would sit and talk for hours. She helped me to keep my spirits up. She agreed that I did the right thing by ignoring the Emperor and going ahead with the secret marriages. On the day I was to die, I left my friend a little note thanking her for her friendship and loyalty. I signed it, "Love from your Valentine."

I believe that note started the custom of exchanging love messages on Valentine's Day. It was written on the day I died, February 14, 269 A.D. Now, every year on this day, people remember. But most importantly, they think about love and friendship. And when they think of Emperor Claudius, they remember how he tried to stand in the way of love, and they laugh -- because they know that love can't be beaten!

VALENTINE'S DAY BLUES AND OTHER COLORS

Valentine's Day, a day when love is officially celebrated in the United States, can be a day of increased pain and sadness for the bereaved. Many individuals report images of their heart being shattered or smashed as they describe the pain their loss has created. They find it hard to assemble the pieces back into the beautiful wholeness they once knew.

Others feel frozen and disconnected from those they love. Their feelings no longer flow freely, and they carry a sense of emotional isolation. It is hard to keep one’s heart open when it has been hurt and traumatized by a loss, and yet staying open to the sources of love in your life and remaining a source of love for others is one of the best paths to healing.

One way of turning the difficulty of Valentines Day around is to re-label it as a time of opening the heart. Take some time to identify your feelings and openly accept them. It is likely that a variety of feelings are crowding together, making it hard to feel much of anything. Sometimes making a list of the different feelings you are aware of can help to them out. Noticing what problems the negative feelings stem from and thinking of possible solutions may help to release some of the worries and negative emotions that are present.

Focusing on the greatest source of love currently in your life is another positive way to reconnect with loving feelings. The source could be anyone or anything: a memory, a poem, a painting, an old letter, and spiritual or religious writings, whatever has positive meaning to you. Try relaxing and letting the positive feelings that this inspiration creates fill your mind. What colors does it bring to mind? As you relax see if you can notice a warm feeling in your chest and let it spread slowly throughout your body.

Connecting with friends and family can be helpful too. You might create a buddy system and agree to exchange flowers or candy with a friend, just for the fun of it. Send a card to someone whom you care about. Call a friend or relative. Go out for lunch or dinner. Let those close to you know that you love them even if it’s been hard to show it recently. Reach out to someone who might need your attention.

Some people find it comforting to write a note to the person they have lost, and let the person know how they are feeling and what they are doing. Others might honor the person they have lost with a ceremony in their honor.

If Valentine’s Day feels too big to handle, it may be a good time to find a counselor or therapist who can help you through it. Connecting with a support group of other bereaved people may be a great way to open up in a community who understands your experience and is able to offer support.

While the blues might well be a realistic part of your Valentine’s experience, taking steps to reconnecting with your feelings and with others will allow other colors to flow in, and keep open path of healing.

02/09/00

Laura Slap-Shelton, Psy.D. is a licensed psychologist with a private practice in Biddeford, Maine. She has a specialty in neuropsychology and has published in the field of psychology. In her work, she addresses the needs of individuals who are grieving and also focuses on helping widows in developing countries where tradition has denied them basic human rights. You can reach her by fax at: (207) 282-5895.

Worth for reading...

The train has started moving. It is packed with people of all ages, mostly with the working men and women and young college guys and gals. Near the window, seated an old man with his 30 year old son. As the train moves by, the son is overwhelmed with joy as he was thrilled with the scenery outside.

“See dad, the scenery of green trees moving away is very beautiful"

These behaviors from a thirty year old son made the other people feel strange about him. Every one started murmuring something or other about this son. "This guy seems to be a crack...” newly married Anoop whispered to his wife. Suddenly it started raining… Rain drops fell on the travelers through the opened window. The thirty year old son, filled with joy “see dad, how beautiful the rain is ..."

Anoop's wife got irritated with the rain drops spoiling her new suit.

Anoop: “Can’t you see its raining, you old man, if your son is not feeling well get him soon to a mental asylum, and don't disturb public henceforth"
The old man hesitated first and then in a low tone replied " we are on the way back from hospital, my son got discharged today morning, he was a blind by birth, last week only he got his vision, these rain and nature are new to his eyes.. Please forgive us for the inconvenience caused..."

"The things we see may be right from our perspective until we know the truth.
But when we know the truth our reaction to that will hurt even us.
So try to understand the problem better before taking a harsh action".

Quotations about Light

Who is more foolish, the child afraid of the dark or the man afraid of the light? ~Maurice Freehill


Better to light a candle than to curse the darkness. ~Chinese Proverb


There are two kinds of light - the glow that illumines, and the glare that obscures. ~James Thurber


In a profound sense every man has two halves to his being; he is not one person so much as two persons trying to act in unison. I believe that in the heart of each human being there is something which I can only describe as a "child of darkness" who is equal and complementary to the more obvious "child of light." ~Laurens van der Post


Moonlight is sculpture. ~Nathaniel Hawthorne


Firelight will not let you read fine stories but it's warm and you won't see the dust on the floor. ~Irish Proverb


We cannot hold a torch to light another's path without brightening our own. ~Ben Sweetland


Light gives of itself freely, filling all available space. It does not seek anything in return; it asks not whether you are friend or foe. It gives of itself and is not thereby diminished. ~Michael Strassfeld


Lethargics are to be laid in the light, and exposed to the rays of the sun for the disease is gloom. ~Aretaeus


Live in rooms full of light. ~Cornelius Celsus


We are each gifted in a unique and important way. It is our privilege and our adventure to discover our own special light. ~Mary Dunbar


You can't have a light without a dark to stick it in. ~Arlo Guthrie


There are two ways of spreading light; to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it. ~Edith Wharton


People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in their true beauty is revealed only if there is light from within. ~Elisabeth Kübler-Ross


Turn your face to the sun and the shadows fall behind you. ~Maori Proverb


The hero is the one who kindles a great light in the world, who sets up blazing torches in the dark streets of life for men to see by. The saint is the man who walks through the dark paths of the world, himself a light. ~Felix Adler


Wherever you go, no matter what the weather, always bring your own sunshine. ~Anthony J. D'Angelo


The sun is nature's Prozac. ~Astrid Alauda


A sensible man will remember that the eyes may be confused in two ways - by a change from light to darkness or from darkness to light; and he will recognize that the same thing happens to the soul. ~Plato


When you possess light within, you see it externally. ~Anaïs Nin


You can owe nothing, if you give back its light to the sun. ~Antonio Porchia


Dare to reach out your hand into the darkness, to pull another hand into the light. ~Norman B. Rice


How glorious a greeting the sun gives the mountains! ~John Muir


The windows of my soul I throw
Wide open to the sun.
~John Greenleaf Whittier


The cradle rocks above an abyss, and common sense tells us that our existence is but a brief crack of light between two eternities of darkness. ~Vladimir Nabokov


Let us dance in the sun, wearing wild flowers in our hair... ~Susan Polis Shutz


I'm not a doctor and I don't know the technical terminology, but I do know that sunshine activates our happiness glands. ~Jessi Lane Adams


From within or from behind, a light shines through us upon things, and makes us aware that we are nothing, but the light is all. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson


Ever since we crawled out of that primordial slime, that's been our unifying cry, "More light." Sunlight. Torchlight. Candlelight. Neon, incandescent lights that banish the darkness from our caves to illuminate our roads, the insides of our refrigerators. Big floods for the night games at Soldier's Field. Little tiny flashlights for those books we read under the covers when we're supposed to be asleep. Light is more than watts and footcandles. Light is metaphor. Light is knowledge, light is life, light is light. ~Diane Frolov and Andrew Schneider


In the right light, at the right time, everything is extraordinary. ~Aaron Rose


What more pleasant sensation
than sunshine on skin,
Spirit and flesh drinking in the light
Of God and energy itself.
~Emme Woodhull-Bäche


Inside my empty bottle I was constructing a lighthouse while all the others were making ships. ~Charles Simic


A smile is the light in the window of your face that tells people you're at home. ~Author Unknown


His high endeavors are an inward light
That makes the path before him always bright.
~William Wordsworth


They may as well have called the sun a ball of flaming joy. ~Star Richés


Light, when suddenly let in, dazzles and hurts and almost blinds us: but this soon passes away, and it seems to become the only element we can exist in. ~Augustus William Hare and Julius Charles Hare, Guesses at Truth, by Two Brothers, 1827


In the beginning there was nothing. God said, "Let there be light!" And there was light. There was still nothing, but you could see it a whole lot better. ~Ellen DeGeneres

Light is good from whatever lamp it shines. ~Author Unknown


When my heart is heavy, the sun helps make it light. ~Astrid Alauda


Light can be gentle, dangerous, dreamlike, bare, living, dead, misty, clear, hot, dark, violet, springlike, falling, straight, sensual, limited, poisonous, calm and soft. ~Sven Nykvist


Someday perhaps the inner light will shine forth from us, and then we'll need no other light. ~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe


A sensitive plant in a garden grew,
And the young winds fed it with silver dew,
And it opened its fan-like leaves to the light,
and closed them beneath the kisses of night.
~Percy Bysshe Shelley, "The Sensitive Plant," 1820


Love is not consolation. It is light. ~Friedrich Nietzsche


In faith there is enough light for those who want to believe and enough shadows to blind those who don't. ~Blaise Pascal


I used to love the darkness
But the sun is my new best friend
As soon as I embraced him
He put my misery to an end.
~Abbe Yeux-verdi


For light I go directly to the Source of light, not to any of the reflections. ~Peace Pilgrim


A man should learn to detect and watch that gleam of light which flashes across his mind from within. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson


There is a muscular energy in sunlight corresponding to the spiritual energy of wind. ~Annie Dillard


Joy requires one to be awake,
Adjusting the heart's ambience to bright.
Some prefer the dark, as is their right,
On grounds of agony, and to forsake
Not only bliss, but all that's blessed by light.
~Nicholas Gordon, poemsforfree.com


I think you might dispense with half your doctors if you would only consult Dr. Sun more. ~Henry Ward Beecher


Light comes to us unexpectedly and obliquely. Perhaps it amuses the gods to try us. They want to see whether we are asleep. ~H.M. Tomlinson


Sunshine is my quest. ~Winston Churchill


Light, God's eldest daughter... ~Thomas Fuller


Alas! must it ever be so?
Do we stand in our own light, wherever we go,
And fight our own shadows forever?
~Edward Robert Bulwer Lytton


We all walk in the dark and each of us must learn to turn on his or her own light. ~Earl Nightingale


Do not anticipate trouble or worry about what may never happen. Keep in the sunlight. ~Benjamin Franklin


Sunshine surrounds the earth as love surrounds our souls. ~Amethyst Snow-Rivers


Into my heart's night
Along a narrow way
I groped; and lo! the light,
An infinite land of day.
~Rubaiyat of Rumi


Begin challenging your own assumptions. Your assumptions are your windows on the world. Scrub them off every once in awhile, or the light won't come in. ~Alan Alda


What is true by lamplight is not always true by sunlight. ~Joseph Joubert


There they stand, the innumerable stars, shining in order like a living hymn, written in light. ~N.P. Willis


The sun shines and warms and lights us and we have no curiosity to know why this is so; but we ask the reason of all evil, of pain, and hunger, and mosquitoes and silly people. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson


I'll tell you how the sun rose a ribbon at a time. ~Emily Dickinson


Auld Daddy Darkness...
See him in the corners hidin' frae the licht,
See him at the window gloomin' at the nicht... ~James Ferguson


No matter how fast light travels it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it. ~Terry Pratchett


Nothing in the universe can travel at the speed of light, they say, forgetful of the shadow's speed. ~Howard Nemerov


Faith is the bird that feels the light and sings when the dawn is still dark. ~Rabindranath Tagore


The pursuit of perfection, then, is the pursuit of sweetness and light. ~Matthew Arnold


The black moment is the moment when the real message of transformation is going to come. At the darkest moment comes the light. ~Joseph Campbell


Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering.
There is a crack in everything,
That's how the light gets in.
~Leonard Cohen


Lighthouses are more helpful than churches. ~Benjamin Franklin


Nothing travels faster than light, with the possible exception of bad news, which follows its own rules. ~Douglas Adams


It's a cruel season that makes you get ready for bed while it's light out. ~Calvin


He that has light within his own clear breast
May sit i' the centre, and enjoy bright day:
But he that hides a dark soul and foul thoughts
Benighted walks under the mid-day sun;
Himself his own dungeon.
~John Milton


If there is one spot of sun spilling onto the floor, a cat will find it and soak it up. ~Jean Asper McIntosh


I will love the light for it shows me the way. Yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars. Og Mandino


Though my soul may set in darkness,
It will rise in perfect light,
I have loved the stars too fondly
To be fearful of the night.
~Sarah Williams


The stars are the street lights of eternity. ~Author Unknown


Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart. ~Kahlil Gibran


Wine is sunlight, held together by water. ~Galileo


Your life is something opaque, not transparent, as long as you look at it in an ordinary human way. But if you hold it up against the light of God's goodness, it shines and turns transparent, radiant and bright. And then you ask yourself in amazement: Is this really my own life I see before me? ~Albert Schweitzer


An age is called "dark," not because the light fails to shine but because people refuse to see it. ~James Michener


For sleep, one needs endless depths of blackness to sink into; daylight is too shallow, it will not cover one. ~Anne Morrow Lindbergh


Sadness flies on the wings of the morning and out of the heart of darkness comes the light. ~Jean Giraudoux


How is one to live a moral and compassionate existence when one finds darkness not only in one's culture but within oneself? There are simply no answers to some of the great pressing questions. You continue to live them out, making your life a worthy expression of leaning into the light. ~Barry Lopez, Arctic Dreams